Welcome back again ...

As you know, I'm Kam Knight:

- Coach

- Speaker

- Author

And in this guide, I'm going to help you better understand and manage your emotions.

An important part of human performance is mastering your emotions.

That's because...

Everything you do or are not able to do comes down to emotions

For example:

- If you're scared, you'll hesitate

- If you're overwhelmed, you'll procrastinate

- If you're angry, you'll over react.

More or less, emotions affect your ability to take action and stick with things, and what create your struggles and joy.

In many ways…

Your emotions are like fire

If you know how and why they work, they can provide warmth and be a light that guides you though the darkness.

But if you don’t, they'll burn you alive, leaving nothing but ash and dust.

I know this is a harsh analogy, but it’s the reality.

In this guide...

I'm going to shine light on the challenging nature of emotions

And offer a simple tip to weave through it.

You'll gain deeper insights to how emotions work.

So they work for you, instead of against you.

First…

1. Emotions are not logical

They don’t respond to logic, as much as we think or want them to.

Emotions have their own logic, and it helps to work within that logic.

Understanding it's logic is what will give you better mastery over them.

Second…

2. Emotions are not always rational

For example, they don't always look at what you did to cause a problem, but still make you upset.

On the other hand, emotions can make your feel responsible or the cause of the problem, even though you're not at fault.

So, you might feel frustrated at someone, and not see how YOU may have contributed to the challenge.

Or you can take responsibily for something happening even though you didn't do anything.

In many ways…

3. Emotion are like an on-off switch

They get triggered based on certain cues:

- See someone attractive, feel aroused

- Make a mistake, feel bad

- If someone walks away, feel rejected

Again, they don’t look at a situation or event rationally, but simply release the response.

In other words:

- You may be happily dating, but still be aroused by seeing someone attractive

- The mistake you make may be minor, but still feel like you did something bad or wrong

- The person walking away may just be going to work, but still feel the sting of rejection

What’s interesting is…

4. Emotions have their own voice

In other words, the thoughts in your head are in a direct response to the emotions you’re feeling.

So:

- Worry has thoughts that tend to be negative.

- With anger, thoughts are more aggressive.

- With joy, more open.

To illustrate, I had a good friend who was in a bad mood one day. As a result, he was being quite negative and cynical to everyone.

Later in the afternoon, he found $100 bill on the ground, which brightened his mood.

So the rest of the day, he was more joyous and upbeat with everyone.

The person or situation didn’t change, only his feelings. 

What’s more…

5. Emotions come out with people and situations that will allow them

We humans are being triggered all the time by all sorts of things.

Though those triggers don’t always come out in those moments.

They come out with people and situations that will allow them.

For example, I had a client who got frustrated with her boss at work.

She couldn’t express her frustration at work (situation) or with her boss (person), otherwise she might get fired.

But when she came home (situation), she unleashed the frustration on her boyfriend (person).

Even though her boyfriend didn’t do anything wrong, her emotions felt less risk at home and with him, so it came out then.

At first, even she was confused as to why she went off on him.

But after we talked through her trigger, she understood her reaction wasn't about her boyfriend, but her boss.

When you get upset at a friend, boy or girl friend, or co-worker, more often than not, it's not about them.

That's because…

6. Emotions look to your past to decide how to feel in the present

Many of your emotional responses aren’t to the current situation, but to experiences that happened long ago.

That is, when you’re talking to someone, your brain doesn't truly know what he or she is saying.

It can only predict what is being said based on similar conversations you've had in the past. 

For example, if you’re having conversation with a co-worker, and he says “man, that's stupid.”

Your brain doesn’t know what he truly means - does he mean it's stupid good? stupid funny?

To make meaning, your brain quickly filters through hundreds of conversations from your past where that comment was made.

So, if it remembers a bully from childhood saying that when making fun of you, your brain may think your co-worker is making fun of you.

That may trigger emotions of embarrassment, which may lead to anger, and before you know it, you’re lashing out on him.

All because your brain thought he was making fun of you based on a distant memory.

It’s hard to imagine., but most of the feelings you’re experiencing aren’t to current situations or events, but to people and experiences from long ago.

A bigger challenge is…

7. Emotions can become a runaway process

Emotion will create a certain pain or emptiness, and tell you what you need to do to remove it, and when you do, the pain goes away.

For example:

- Hunger tells you to eat, and when you eat, the hunger goes away.

- Loneliness says to connect with someone, and when you do, that too goes away.

Often times, doing what the emotions say DOESN'T make the pain or emptiness go away.

For some:

- Eating doesn’t make their hunger go away, which is why they fall into a pattern of overeating.

- Being around others doesn’t make their loneliness go away either.

Like a carrot on a stick, the emotion will lead you to do all sorts of things, sometimes to the point of exhaustion, without ever removing the pain or emptiness.

So you might be shy, insecure, or anxious, with your emotions saying you need a 'big house,' 'fast car,' 'prestigious job,' or you need to "do this," "have that," or "go there" without ever removing those feelings.

As you can see…

Emotions can create a lot of challenges

They are not logical or always rational, and operate more like an on-off switch.

They have their own thinking, don’t show up with the right person or situation, and are based on past experiences.

Not to mention, they can string you along like a carrot on a stick.

So….

How does one get a handle on all this?

Well, it's not easy.

Emotions are a lot more complex than what I just described.

What's more, they don't like to be managed or controlled.

Though there is one way that can help you handle them.

And that's by...

Understanding the 3 Convincers

To understand what I mean, there are 3 ways you can be convinced of something:

I. Logical evidence

II. Physical evidence

III. Emotions

Let me explain…

If I was holding a toy boat, how could I convince you that it floats?

I. For starters, I can use "logic" and say, the material the boat is made out of is less dense than water, and less dense objects float to the top of more dense ones.

II. Second, I can place the boat in water and you can "physically" see it floating.

3. Then there is the ”emotional“ convincer. It doesn’t use logical or physical evidence, but relies solely on feelings.

"Oh my God, this boat is so amazing! It does all these cool things, like float in water! I'm having hours and hours of fun with it because it never sinks!"

Emotions alone can convince you that it does

Feelings can by pass the logical and physical parts of the mind, and convince you directly.

That's how advertisements convince you to buy things that are not good for you.

What are Marlboro, Coca-cola, and McDonald's slogan?

- Cool
- Open happiness
- I'm lovin it!

All emotions!

The point is...

Look for the logical or physical evidence to support the emotion you are in

Although your emotions are saying one thing, what's the logical or physical evidence suggesting?

- Your emotions might be convincing you something is not working, when it's fine

- Your emotions might be convincing you someone did you wrong, when they're actually trying to help

- Your emotions might be suggesting something is a good idea when it's not

- Your emotions might be leading you to a decision, when you should think twice.

I hope you found this guide helpful

The goal was to help you better understand and manage your emotions.

This way you can make better decisions and choices in life.

This is one of those simple things you can do, that over time can make a big shift in your life.

Though...

What's better is not to have emotions come up in the first place

As mentioned, most of the emotions you're experiencing right now came from your past.

It came from your mom yelling at you, dad not giving you enough attention, bullies making fun of you, and more.

It's what's causing your anxiety, sadness, anger, overwhelm, overthinking, self-sabotage, and more.

When you can release repressed emotions from the past, many of these things go away.

Often times like magic.


Click here if you'd like to learn more...


People are looking for simple solutions.

Unfortunately this things don’t exist

Though a better thing is not to mange them.

If you can raise them, they don’t come up