The Real Reason You Procrastinate
And the Hidden Tricks that Keep You Stuck
Welcome back ...
I'm Kam Knight, coach, international speaker, and author of a dozen books in the area of mental, physical, and emotional performance.
And in this guide, I'm going to reveal the secret behind your procrastination & self-sabotage.
Though...
I have to say
Your mind and body are EXTREMELY complex.
That means, there are deep underlying reasons why you procrastinate or are not able to take action.
So, it's important to understand this complexity.
If the fix were simple, you would've come across it already, and already be using it.
Since you haven't or aren't, means there is more going on than what traditional self-help and personal development have led you to believe.
But...
Not to worry
I'll still offer a tip that can create the progress you're seeking.
It's one of the easiest tips I've found that, if applied consistently, can have a big shift in your progress.
That means taking more action, especially in the moments that matter most.
To start....
The part of your brain that creates wants and desires
Works separately and independent of the part that allows you to act on those desires.
So, you have one part of your brain that creates wants.
And a completely different part that allows you to act on the want.
So, it's possible for your brain to both create a desire for something, and at the same time, keep you from going after it.
And...
That's what procrastination and sabotage really are!
They are a part of your brain NOT giving the green light to go after a desire or outcome.
Interestingly enough, BOTH PARTS can get in your way!
The part that creates wants can get in the way, as well as the part that holds you back from those wants.
And in this guide, you'll learn how both your wants and resistance hold you back.
1. Wants
Let's first start with your wants.
It's hard to imagine, but many of your challenges in life actually come from your desires.
That’s right!
Your challenge to doing what you want comes from the want itself.
That's because...
The part of your brain that creates wants and desires
Is completely unrestrained.
It’s creating wants one after another.
The only job of this part of the brain, which I call the wanting mechanism, is to create wants.
And it's cranking out endless wants and desires - day in and day out - at a pace faster than you can achieve.
You can think of your wanting mechanism like a simple on-off switch
It gets flipped based on certain cues:
- It sees a new pair of shoes, and wants it
- The latest iPhone comes out, it wants that too
- Someone attractive walks by, and it wants that as well
This switch creates so many wants in a single day
You don't have the time or energy to achieve in a lifetime.
Even if you lived multiple lives, you couldn't achieve all the wants your brain is producing.
Let alone enjoy them.
That’s because...
Your wanting mechanism DOESN'T understand
Your time, energy, and resources are limited.
It simply creates wants.
Nor does it check to see if your want is achievable.
It simply creates wants.
Even while you’re working on one want, your mechanism is creating other wants to chase
The wanting mechanism is the reason:
- You buy stuff you DON'T need
- Crave things that AREN'T fulfilling
- And the reason people cheat when they’re already in a relationship
It’s also the reason why it’s so hard to "do your work."
This mechanism pulls you in so many directions, it’s difficult to stick with any one.
Though...
This is just ONE challenge of your wants
There are many other challenges the wanting mechanism creates, including:
A. Conflicting Wants
This is where your brain creates 2 opposing desires.
So, having one means giving up another.
Because you can't let go of either, you end up achieving neither.
B. Strong Wants
This is where your desire is so strong, it consumes all your attention and focus.
As a result, you don't have anything left to work on the task, activity, or goal.
In other words, since all your attention and energy is on the desire, none is available for actually working towards the desire.
C. Unaligned Wants
Just because your brain creates a want for something, doesn’t mean you'll actually enjoy it.
Remember, your wanting mechanism doesn't check to see if a want is going to be fulfilling.
It simply creates wants.
So, you may be chasing something you don't really care for or desire.
Since you don't care for it, you don't care to go after it.
This is one way procrastination and sabotage show up - from your wants
The other is...
2. Resistance
As you learned...
Anytime you have a want or desire, that desire is reviewed by resistance.
Resistance evaluates many criteria to decide whether or not you should do something.
To understand what I mean by criteria, I'll talk about one of them.
One reason resistance stops you from taking action is because...
The task, activity, or goal opens the door to many failures
I’ve traveled a lot!
To over 100 countries.
But there was a point when I was afraid to travel.
In fact, traveling was so scary, I rarely traveled alone.
After diving into the cause of this resistance, I realized...
My brain was processing all the things that could go wrong
- What if I buy the wrong flight
- Book it for the wrong date
- Or I have to cancel and can’t get a refund
- What if I can’t make it to the airport
- Miss the flight
- Or Forget to pack something important
So...
Anytime you set out to do something
Your brain processes all the things that can go wrong.
You don't notice the processing happen, but it's there, running in the background.
The more things that can go wrong, and the worse the outcome of each thing, the more resistance will hold you back.
Unfortunately,
Resistance doesn't tell you what those things are
Instead, it creates an impenetrable wall you can’t push through.
This wall can feel like being paralyzed and not knowing why.
Often, it simply feels like not wanting to do the thing.
Though...
This is just one cause of resistance
There are many more reasons resistance stops you from taking action, including:
A. Self-Image
You may have created a self-image of being cool, smart, or that you're tech savvy.
But you don't apply yourself because if things don't go well, you will have to face the fact that you are not as cool or smart as you make yourself out to be.
So, it's easier to NOT do the thing and hold on to the self-image.
Than to do it, and face the possibility of proving it wrong.
B. Avoid Something Bigger
Often, resistance comes up not because of a task or activity.
But what finishing or completing the task or activity will lead to or bring.
This is a common pattern with inspiring authors.
Many authors want to write a book, share their story, or get their message out into the world.
But they'll procrastinate on finishing the book to avoid something bigger - and that something bigger is usually feedback and criticism.
Finishing the book will mean receiving some sort of criticism.
Some authors are so afraid of what people think, their resistance will have them procrastinate on finishing the book now, so they can avoid the criticism later.
C. Authority Issues
This is an interesting reason for resistance.
If you grew up around people who were always telling you:
- What to do
- What not to do
- How to do it
- How not to do it
At a certain point, your brain gets fed up and doesn't want to listen to or do anything anyone has ever said.
Even when you grow up and want to do those things, and even if you will benefit from doing them, the authority issue kicks in and keeps you from doing them.
This is another way procrastination & sabotage show up - from resistance.
But what makes this even more challenging comes from the...
3. Tricks of Resistance
When your resistance stops you from doing something, it doesn’t tell you that it's stopping you or give you a reason.
For example, if self-image is the culprit, resistance won't say:
“Hey, this goal of yours might threaten the self-image we're trying to uphold, so I can’t let you do it”
Nope...
In action manifests other ways!
Your brain uses manipulative tricks to keep you from taking action.
And it has many tricks up its sleeves to keep you from taking action.
To understand what I mean by "tricks" ...
I'll share a powerful story
Several years ago, I heard a woman give a speech about her journey of addiction.
She described a pattern addicts fall into that she herself fell into.
She said many addicts know what they're doing is wrong.
When they're searching for the next hit, a part of them knows they should stop.
But a sneaky little trick keeps them from stopping...
They say
After the next hit I’ll stop.
After the next one, I’ll stop.
I just need to do it one more time, but after, I’ll stop
Here is the thing…
They keep saying it
When they say it, they’re convinced it’ll only be one more time.
Absolutely convinced!
In their mind, they truly believe after the next one they will stop.
I hate to break it to you, but...
You’re doing this in some area of your life
Anytime a reminder comes up, in that moment, a voice surfaces that says:
- I’ll do it later
- I’ll do it tomorrow
- I’ll do it this weekend
- I’ll do it next week
- I’ll do it next time
When you say it
You’re convinced you’ll do it later or next time.
Absolutely convinced!
But when the "later" or "next" arrives, you push it off to the next and next and the one after that.
And you'll do it for months and years.
This is one of the tricks of resistance
It makes you put the task, activity, or goal off.
In fact, some people reading this have been telling themselves later or next their entire life.
Every time they say it, they're convinced they will start next time.
But they never do.
Though...
This is just one trick of your resistance
There are many more tricks resistance uses to stop you, including:
A. Overwhelm
Have you ever done something that seemed much bigger or more difficult than it really was?
Then after doing it, you were like, that wasn’t so bad, why didn't I start sooner?
Well, that's another trick of resistance.
It makes tasks much bigger and more difficult than they really are.
Because they feel so big, you don't feel like starting.
Since you don't start, the tricks win!
B. Bottle Neck
Have you ever told yourself you'll start working out once you sign up for a gym membership?
Then you waited months or years to sign up?
That's another trick!
Your brain keeps you from doing something small that creates a bottleneck to a bigger action you can take.
As long as you don't do the small thing (sign up), you can't take the bigger action (work out).
C. Feel Superior
Have you ever had someone give you advice, but you said:
- Nah, I don’t need that
- I got this
- Or have other feelings of being too good?
Yep, another trick because as long as you feel too good, you don’t do the thing.
As long as you don't do it, the tricks win yet again!
By now you're understanding
There's more to your procrastination than you thought.
I'm sure you've heard the phrase, "you are your own worst enemy."
Well, resistance is the enemy within that stops you!
So anytime you find yourself procrastinating, self-sabotaging, or not able to do that thing...
1. The first step is to start with your wants
Look at how your wants are getting in the way.
Are you chasing:
- Too many wants at the same time?
- A want that conflicts with other wants?
- A want that is so strong, you can't focus on the action?
- Or a want that isn't ultimately fulfilling?
As you learned, your own wants can be the very thing that keeps you from going after them.
2. The next step is to address the resistance
Figure out why your brain is holding you back in the first place.
Are you resisting:
- All the things that can go wrong?
- Damaging the self-image?
- Avoiding something bigger?
- Or not wanting to give the authorities in your life satisfaction?
Remember, all your wants are filtered by resistance to see if you should do it.
3. The third step is to notice the tricks
Look at the tricks showing up in your life.
Are you:
- Telling yourself you'll do it later?
- Making the task bigger than it really is?
- Creating a bottleneck for yourself?
- Or feeling too good or superior to do it?
When resistance stops you from doing something, it uses manipulative tricks like these...
Anytime you're stuck, go through these 3 steps.
With that...
I hope you found this guide helpful
And it opened your eyes to how deep your procrastination and self-sabotage go.
As I said, your mind and body are complex.
Even if I gave you the best tools in the world, the tricks of resistance would keep you from using them.
In fact...
You've already come across plenty of tools in your life
You're just not using them.
You're not using them because it was never about the tools.
It's about understanding why your brain is keeping you from using the tools in the first place.
Once you understand that, the tools become easier to use.
Again...
If you have questions
- About this guide
- Info in these newsletters
- Or any books you've read of mine
Shoot me an email at [email protected].
Though...
This guide just scratches the surface
The topic of resistance goes much deeper.
There is a lot more to why you do what you do.
And why you can't get yourself to do what you truly want and desire.
If you'd like to learn more, check out this video here:
